Choosing Happiness, part 4

I have just finished reading Stephanie Dowrick's Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials, and I shall continue my humble project to blog about some of my learning points from the book.

This is a joy-inducing book to read, and I am grateful that I have found the time needed to read it from cover to cover. After reading the book, I have a better idea how happiness can indeed be a choice.

What does it take to be happy then?

The author, Stephanie Dowrick, gave a list of suggestions that can help make happiness easily available to anyone. I will attempt to list some of her suggestions that I have found worthwhile to share:

- Think well of ourselves. Give ourselves plenty of reasons to do so. When we let ourself down, learn something, make the change that's needed - and move on.

- Pay attention to what's uplifting - and be uplifted!

- Think and speak positively about ourselves and others.

- Choose work that supports one's integrity.

- Give time and attention to our close relationships.

- Be the friend we would most like to have.

- Practise kindness. Live kindly.

- On a daily basis, relish the wonders of nature.

Spread the happiness spirit. If you have anything you have found useful to make you experience happiness, share with us through your comments. Or, you could pick the book, read and learn.

And after reading this book, I could better realised what had made my dear friend, XS, experience joy from within such that she sang one of the most lovely and joyful tunes when she drove me about Sydney in her car. With this post, I pray for happiness to be with her each and every moment.

Best wishes XS. I thank you for being the friend who pointed out to me that happiness can be a choice.

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Entries in the series:


Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

People to be grateful for. Part 8

When it comes to friends whom I am grateful for, often it is not about the very big things that they do, but it is about the many simple things that they do to show that they care. I am grateful to have found a friend in Goldilocks (JY).

JY and I had studied in the same secondary school, the same junior college and the same faculty in the university. Interestingly, we probably got to know each other as friends only from our university years.

Her kindness has touched my heart. Admittedly, my years as an undergraduate were possibly one of the most depressive times in my life. Yet, it was friends like her who have helped make each of those past days more bearable. I vaguely remember one occasion when I was an undergraduate having an extremely bad day and feeling awfully low. I met JY by chance when heading to the Arts Canteen. She said hello to me and initiated a lunch together. It was a simple gesture of kindness, that helped bring a lot of comfort to yours truly who was having a gloomy day.

I thank her for lending her time generously to be one of my first participants when I needed to practise administering the MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator). The MBTI and Type theories just got me so excited that I could not help but want to have my hands on administering it. She impressed me by going for the accreditation course in MBTI thereafter and administering the indicator to more people than I did.

I am very thankful for JY's companionship. There were many, if not countless times, that she offered her time and companionship. Be it to watch a drama production, a lunch together at the faculty, to lend her listening ears when I needed to sort through some issues close to my heart, and simply a company.

I am also grateful that on one occasion when I needed help to carry the double bass stool for a music-exams rehearsal, she generously gave her time to help me with it. I badly needed help with it for there was no way I could carry a stool with a double bass in my hands.

JY has been a very supportive friend when it comes to my pursuit of playing music in an orchestra. I deeply appreciate her support in attending a number of the concerts that I have played in. It matters a lot to me for I feel a sense of comfort that there are people who do wish to share the joy of music-making. Thanks JY.

JY is a pretty witty lady if one can get to know her better. Well, it can often be an interesting exchange to just communicate with her via writing. I recalled having to communicate with her via ICQ years ago and at times on MSN, and it was a delightful experience interacting with her via writing.

Before I end this post, I would also like to thank her for the many post-cards she has been giving me when she goes overseas. These postcards are like windows to the world that I have yet to see, and they warm my heart that someone cares enough to share the delight of this beautiful world with me. Thank you JY.

People to be grateful for. Part 7

CHIJMES

I dedicate this very post to my loyal and faithful friend on blogland. As best as I recall, I came to know Mistipurple in Oct 2004 through blogging. Thanks to my blog-post I passed ABRSM Grade 7 which she had probably read by random chance and commented on. It is perhaps thanks to fate that Mistipurple and I got to know each other, and I am pleasantly honoured that despite the fact that I tend to write between the lines and make my posts at times hard to decipher, she has faithfully been around to read my blog from time to time over the past four years and more.

I greatly appreciate the kindness, support and encouragement that she has given me over blogland through the many kind comments she has left me. The power of simple words of kindness should never be underestimated. I thank Mistipurple for brightening many of my days with her simple acts of kindness.

I would also like to thank her for specially making time out of her busy schedule to support the concert The Butterfly Lovers that I had played in on 27 Jul 2005 just a couple of days before the orchestra went to Aberdeen for the Aberdeen International Youth Festival. I am touched by her generous gesture to help find supporters to attend the concert. Thank you Mistipurple for your kind gestures.

Mistipurple has been patient and understanding to me. During my very first lunch meeting with Mistipurple, I experienced painful cramps, and she did her very best to be helpful and accomodating to me. While I realised that she doesn't enjoy walking too much, she went along with my love for walking and so graciously covered miles and miles with me. Hopefully she can find delight in what I deem as beautiful: The sceneries that can be seen from the Esplanade's roof-top.

I thank her for her precious and thoughtful gifts of HEAROS earplugs. For yours truly who needs a lot of peace and space away from noises, those earplugs came very helpful when I have to go for road-shows or attend any function where there are speakers blasting away. I would like to thank her for the extra mile that she goes just to help me get a particular type of earplug that I had wanted. Her thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated.

Mistipurple has good memory. I am pleasantly delighted that she remembers that I like dark chocolate, and don't have an interest for milk chocolate.

Kind people like her deserve the best things in life. I wish her good health and enthusiasm. May life be gracious towards her and help her achieve success in her life.

People to be grateful for. Part 6

Paulaner Bräuhaus' Weissbier Tiramisu
Photo credit: Carcar.

I dedicate this very post to one of my dear friends, Mystic. I had probably introduced myself to her by making an origami paper crane for her when we first met years ago.

I am very thankful to find a friend in her. I thank her for being open to go along with my suggestions to get her to visit museums with me. I do not need a company to visit the museums. I am independent enough to visit museums on my own. Yet it will be meaningful to me if I could at least share with a good friend of mine how visiting the museums have enriched my life and have fascinated me.

I thank Mystic for being so generous with her time and being open-minded to visit the museums with me on several occasions. Together, we have visited the Singapore History Gallery (before it was closed for major renovation into today's National Museum of Singapore) and many exhibitions at Singapore Art Museums, for example, Rodin: A Magnificent Obsession, Fascination with Nature : Finger Paintings by Wu Tsai Yen, Ju Ming 2004 Singapore • Beijing • Shanghai *Blockbuster!, Convergences: Chen Wen Hsi Centennial Exhibition. When the National Museum of Singapore reopened after a major refurbishment, she went along with my suggestions to watch Hydromania, by Avanti Dislay even though it meant that she had to put up with sitting on grass. We also visited the National Museum of Singapore on another occasion simply because I had wanted to check it out. My words of appreciation to Mystic. She may not fully appreciate how much it has meant to me to share my fascination with the museums with close friends, so I shall state it here. Thanks Mystic.

I thank her for being kind and honest with me. I greatly appreciate her kindness and honesty. She has been constantly giving me honest feedback about myself so that I can grow better as a person from these feedback. The kind thing is that she does realise that I sometimes cannot assimilate good and honest feedback immediately, so she often makes her feedback to me more palatable by "sugar-coating" each of them. That way, I can mull over them, gradually working on areas that I can improve upon. At the very least, thanks to Mystic, for the past few years, my parents have not received unsolicited downright criticisms of their cooking from me, unless they were to ask me for any.

She has been most patient with me too. I think she was one of those few friends of mine who practise extreme patience when I was in extreme need for a sense of closure. It can be a task yet to be done or a proposed meeting that has yet been realised. My thanks to her for having put up with me on those. Recently, when I learnt from reading Looking at Type: The Fundamentals by Charles R. Martin that people with my personality type has a drive of closure, I do hope that over time, with that awareness, I can laugh and not take myself too seriously when I feel a strong need for closure over petty issues. That shall be good news for many, I hope?

My thanks to Mystic too for finding ways to encourage me to put my analytical skills to use. I don't know if she is aware that I have a love to intellectualise things, theorise and simply to analyse anything complex. Whatever it is, I am glad that she has given me plenty of chances to put my favourite skills to use. Thanks Mystic.

During the times when I had felt confused, down, lost and/or anxious, I am grateful that Mystic had make time to be there for me. Even if it had meant that she, on one occasion, had to meet me early in the morning, on her birthday and when she was down with a flu. That meeting was an important for me for I was in need to sort through my thoughts and feelings after realising I had failed for a music practical exams which I had practised and prepared conscientiously for. I appreciate the deep level of sincerity and care that she lends to her friends and family members. For that, she has been a constant inspiration to me when it comes to relating to friends and family members. In many ways, I have learnt from her how to be a good friend. Thank her please, if I have been a better friend now than I had used to be.

Last but not the least, I thank Mystic for her friendship, and for her accepting me despite my flaws. I am glad that I have found a friend in her.

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This post is the sixth of this series "People to be grateful for".

People to be grateful for. Part 4

This is the fourth post of this series.

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Thank you XS.


I am grateful for your friendship, which I deeply cherish. Perhaps unknown to you, you have helped shape me to be a better friend and person. I have learnt about ways to choose and experience happiness. Thanks to your guidance and pointers.

I have also learnt that there is beauty in impermanence. The best of our friends do not have to be physically with us most of the time. I have learnt from the years that we have lost contact with each other, that true friendship can withstand the tests of time, emerging stronger with time. I am deeply grateful for having gotten in touch with you, even if it may just for a while, as I could finally experience for myself that our friendship is strong enough to withstand the tests of time. Appreciating that things are impermanent makes me learn to better cherish each moment.

There are many things I have to thank you for. I shall leave most of them unsaid. Maybe the best thank-you messages are best experienced with the heart and the soul.

Perhaps you did not realise, that my experiences of our friendship has in many ways helped me to evolve. Thank you for accepting whatever idiosyncrasies that I may have. Thank you for the intangible treasures of wisdom that you have pointed me to.

More importantly, thank you for the many precious memories you have given me.

I wish you happiness and good dreams come true. You have my blessings, wherever you are.

People to be grateful for

I am inspired to write a series of posts of people I am grateful for in my life. I do not know how this series of posts would turn out. I do not have a concrete plan in mind who would be the people that I would write about. It will be a pleasant surprise for me to see how this series of posts would unfold by itself.

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Heartfelt gratitude to my maternal grandmother:



I would like to begin this post by expressing my heartfelt gratitude to a very significant person in my life. She's my maternal grandmother. Both my parents have been working even before I was born. It was my maternal grandmother who has made sacrifices to take care of me and my siblings when we were young, when my parents were working.

I thank her for her encouragement and her belief in me. I believe it was her constant encouragement that has helped me aspire to do my best possible. I believe she deserves quite a bit of credit for my eventual completion of tertiary education for she has given me the much needed encouragement and moral support during some of the most difficult times of my life. Without her constant moral support, I might have lost sight of the bigger picture and given up on my academic pursuits prematurely.

Heartfelt thanks to my maternal grandmother for the love and care she has showered me, and all her loved ones. She has taught me some good values that I will probably find forever useful in my life. I have a lot to thank her for which I shall not attempt to list out. With deep thanks to my maternal grandmother.