Monday, July 13, 2009

Read: Who Cares What You're Supposed to Do?

This is a book that I would recommend women who are in their twenties and early thirties to have a read. In today's world, women have the privilege to have more options opened to them as compared to many decades ago. Strangely, having more options may create unknown pressures and doubts because there is possibly no exact road-map for women today. Furthermore, many of the societal expectations from many decades ago continue to prevail.

There are expectations that seem to suggest that women of that age are supposed to:
- have a fabulous career
- be financially independent
- be married with children
- have your own home
- enjoy a busy social life
- have a great body
- do it all right

Such expectations can unknowingly create pressure, doubts and feelings of guilt for those who felt that they cannot meet up to the expectations. What I find useful about this book is that it explores how one can put the pressures and expectations into perspective.

In addition, I find that it gave some useful strategy on how to steer away from self-doubt so that one could be in a better position to figure out what one would really want of one's life, rather than let the society dictate how one should live one's life.

The authors proposed the following four steps to resolving self-doubt:
1. Recognise and name the problem.
2. Understand and challenge the expectation.
3. Connect to what you value and believe.
4. Seek allies against self-doubt.

Essentially, Who Cares What You're Supposed to Do? Breaking the Rules to Get What You Want in Love, Life and Work is a book that explores the issues that women who are experiencing quarter-life crisis are likely to face.

While I find the case-examples a little hard to follow at times as they are scattered over various chapters of the book, these examples did help to illustrate many of the issues that are commonly faced by women in their quarter-life. I find it an insightful read as I admittedly experience issues related to quarterlife-crisis from time-to-time.

I also like the fact that this book was written by a psychologist. That seemed to make the writing style fairly appealing to yours truly who likes reading non-fiction books related to social science issues.

I took about a slightly more than a week to finish reading it. I look forward to overcoming some of my self-doubts and claiming the power to define my life on my own terms. May you too.

Online ites on Quarterlife crisis:

Title: Who cares what you're supposed to do? : breaking the rules to get what you want in love, life, and work
Author: Dickerson, Victoria C., with Fine, Carla.
Publisher New York : Berkley Publishing Group, 2004.

Available for loan from the National Library Board Singapore. Call Number: English 158.08422 DIC


pinkie said...

Think this book could be a life-saver to many young people out there... tat's very fortunate.

oceanskies79 said...

Pinkie: I think it helps to get some mentors or perspectives along the way.

So it looks like you know of people who may benefit from reading the book?