I am starting to ask myself this question. It is probably because I am very awfully drained. There seems no definite thing to look forward to. At times, despair and confusion sets in.
It is 7 June. First Tuesday of June 2005. A long day. I was scheduled to work till 9 pm tonight. Actually, I thought I had managed to stay quite effective throughout. I saw a few clients, wrote a few session notes, and more. Yet, it did not help to realise that there are still heaps of work to be done. I must be one of those people who will die early because I expect myself to meet my own datelines or keep up to my perceived standards.
When each day becomes too much of a routine, when the day becomes one of achieving but not growing, I seem to often ask myself: Is this what I would truly want to pursue in life?
Questioning seems a necessity in my life. But I fear I have never gotten down to a conclusion that I would be pleased with. Over-involvement in questioning and searching for the answers can bog me down, so I have to learn to come to terms with not having all the answers. Maybe I should trust that time will reveal. Even if the time required is beyond my the length of my lifespan.
This is a post that is not meant to make much sense. It is meant as a record of a process of thinking that is going on within.
6 comments:
It makes much more sense then you realize. I too am always questioning, questioning so much that it is difficult to act. I like to know what's going on so I can make the best choices, but as soon as I think I've gotten things figured out they've changed or I've changed so I'm back to square one.
Share the same sentiments as you...
Sometimes when the tough gets going, I just feel like giving up...
A little bit of routine is what most people need in life.
But I always say there's nothing better than to break with routine every now and then.
You asked yourself the right question, because setting goals is another thing we need. You will find the answer and any choice you make in life is the right one as long as you follow your heart.
The routine of life is unavoidable I guess and interrogative attitude is what we need from time to time and that's all for good. Meanwhile, consider yourself a lucky person since you have got the bliss of playing music while many other people have not. :-)
"Over-involvement in questioning and searching for the answers can bog me down, so I have to learn to come to terms with not having all the answers. Maybe I should trust that time will reveal. Even if the time required is beyond my the length of my lifespan." - this is wat was zooming thru me lately.. seems like everyone is having this problem...different questions, same problem.
perhaps ur answer will come sooner then u expect? sometimes, the answer comes looking for u instead? i believe there shd be more to life..
"... when the day becomes one of achieving but not growing, I seem to often ask myself: Is this what I would truly want to pursue in life?"
This really resonated with me yesterday. I hope your path becomes clear to you soon. I'm rooting for you!
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