Monday, May 29, 2006

Where's the headache from?

I eventually decided to reduce the time for practice this evening after being bugged by a mild but bothering headache. Is this a sign of lowered threshold? I attributed my having a headache to the noises from the television turned to loud volume.

In fact, practice time was very much reduced as I had to take a break after about every 20 minutes of playing on the double bass.

***
I wonder whether subconsciously, the headache had came from a source of stress? It is getting about two months from the Grade 8 practical exams and I am still trying to figure out what repertoire to play from List B (comprising largely of contemporary pieces). Just now, I was going through Alan Ridout's Concerto for Double Bass and strings, and my goodness, I don't have much clue where my fingers should rest to produce some of those high-pitched harmonics.

Now the talk is about starting to feel demoralised. The next step is to learn to tell myself to ignore the talk that is starting.

Should I just be easy on myself and attribute all bad things to the headache? But rightfully, I should have been more or less ready to play for the exams by now, shouldn't I?

Maybe life is not just about the should and should not? It is simply about living it and letting life unfold itself? Yes, I know, I have too many questions unanswered.

4 comments:

mistipurple said...

please do not worry too much. can you bring the question of where to place your fingers on that particular bar to your orchestra tutor or someone who might be better versed? you can also seek a tutor just for this contemporary piece. (i had a different teacher for each of the piece i took. :P)

the headache can be due to many things, the weather being one of them. anyway, the point is, please try to relax and i wish you lots of peace for you to practise well.

dreaming-neko said...

if the questions remain unanswered... maybe your asking the wrong questions... :)

Jane said...

First from the head..I think!

Simple American said...

Don't fret. People tend to beat themselves up. Pat yourself on the back. Convince yourself to drive on and persevere.