Thursday, November 11, 2004

There is a spirit of Melancholy in the air

Strangely, there has been a sense of melancholy in the air for the past few days. There is no reason to justify for it, but it just happens. Maybe this could be a signal that something in my life needs to be reviewed?

Sometimes I feel that I am like a source of light that could have travelled beyond the solar system, but somehow, was constrained to the perimeters of the Earth. Such a restrain, I do not know if has been meant for a purpose and needs to be accepted, or has been unintended and is something to be overcame.

It should have been nice to have catch up with a friend of mine during her housewarming party this afternoon. Indeed it has been. I was contented with catching up with a few of my friends today and to try to connect with them at a different stage of our lives.

Yesterday, another friend whom I have treasured emailed me to send me a greeting. It has been heart-warming to hear from her.

Surely there are reasons to be happy about, and to remind me that I could look at things in a brighter perspective. And I think I did. At the same time, the spirit of melancholy could still be felt. Perhaps, feelings are feelings. There are no good or bad. Feelings just are.

There is something that is deep in me that needed a form of expression. Maybe, the melancholy that I have felt could have been a manifestation of the lack of some kind of expression. I wish I could have the powers to express those metaphoric vision in me, but I do not seem to have them yet. Perhaps it is only through search and discovery that I could piece up those phrases of expressions together. At this moment, the vision itself is unclear, waiting to be discovered.

If you should see me in a solemn mode lately, I shall let you know that I am not sad or angry. Most likely, I am directing my energies to process internally. Lend me your quiet company if you would like, but please try not to bog me down with too much questions or answers. I think I needed some space and time to review and to recharge. I will be fine.