I have been trying to search for an answer, of a direction I could take for the year 2005. However, it has yet to come to me. At the same time, there is a general sense of tiredness to be overcomed.
The day has been rather unfulfilling. I felt out of sync with most things around me, for most part of the day. Such a feeling of being out of sync can be rather unbearable. In the meantime, I shall wonder how one could achieve that "in the flow" experience for most parts of the day?
The orchestra rehearsal in the evening helped to bring the day to a better closure. We were practising the Yellow River Cantata tonight, and it was quite interesting to playing the cantata under the baton of the conductor for this concert. There were quite a lot of changes in the dynamics and the tempo throughout the entire cantata, so one would need to be quite alert in responding to the changes.
But except for the rehearsal, it was quite a dismay that the rest of the day was rather unfulfilling. If the rest of my life were to be spent feeling so unfulfilled, I wonder if it would be worth living at all? Maybe the question for the night would be: How to make life a little more fulfilling and in the sync?
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