Wednesday, August 24, 2005

A bugging thought

It is Wednesday. There was orchestra rehearsal earlier tonight.

Just shortly after returning from the Aberdeen International Youth Festival, the orchestra is going to play in another public performance. This Saturday, the orchestra will be playing yet again The Butterfly Lovers Violin Concerto. It will also perform a combined item with a choir and guitar ensemble. The name of the event is: CFA Celebrates! Timeless Classics.

Yesterday, I had considered about not to posting anything on my blog until Saturday is over. I felt I need a bit more rest. It just seems difficult to find time to rest with concert, the several rehearsals and work. But I think I should blog a few paragraphs to remind myself to brace myself up a little. Even if I were to be weak and fail to do so on my own, hopefully someone from blogger land may just help to remind me to.

Somehow, there is a bugging thought and feeling that I makes me feel lousy. I do not wish to elaborate about the source of it here. Perhaps that bugging thought is hinting that I needed to work on that area. I have been trying, yet I seem not to have progressed much in my work on that area. That leaves me a little demoralised when I think of it.

I am trying not to dwell on it. Yet, I fear I might end up simply ignoring the matter and not acting much on it. Then again, harbouring too much thought over the issue, and not knowing how to act could just simply set one into unconstructive worrying, and even, depression.

I wish for a beam of light that would show me the way to overcome this nagging issue. Meantime, I shall remind myself not to fall victim to this bugging thought. Somehow, it is at times making myself feel that I would soon fall apart. I think I could be more mindful and not end up as victum to this thought.


pinkie said...

hmm... wonder what's buggin' u... maybe I know tat feeling of being bugged and needing a beam of light to lead the way...

hope everything's ok for u...

mistipurple said...

i posted in this box in my sleep. i hope i am not too late in real life. wishing you that light beam also and loads of encouragement.

Goldilocks said...

have faith, PY.
will be here to root for you.