Read: The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die

John Izzo
(2008)
The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die
Berret-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

This was the book that I had been reading for the past three weeks while I was commuting on the public transport and while I was waiting in queues. I felt that reading the book was like listening to the guidance of many wise elders sharing with me how they have led life in a meaningful way, with happiness and purpose.

In short, if I understood correctly, the author and his team interviewed 234 people ranging from age 59 to 105 years old who have been identified by others as people who had found happiness and purpose.

I find the findings from the many interviews to be very insightful. The author's findings suggest that the five secrets to living a life of happiness and purpose are as follow:

1) Be true to oneself
2) Live a life of no regrets (taking more risks)
3) Become love (love more)
4) Live the moment
5) Give more than one takes.

Aside from this five secrets, I've also learnt from this book that happy people are not afraid to die. The thing is that when people have lived wisely, they will not fear death, but will accept death as part of life. Strangely, this concept reminds me of the Egyptian. The Egyptian, as best as I know, embraces death. Actually, I think they also live pretty wise and good lives if I were to compare them with their contemporaries.

One very consoling point that was highlighted in the book was that it is never too late to live the secrets. So here I am, taking steps to learn and practice the secrets.

This book is written in a very accessible way. It is a book that is worth a place in one's collection of books as it serves a constant reminder to the secrets to a happy and meaningful life.

Spread the Love

I was reading an article from Karl's Blog.com entitled Spread the Love. Karl the author proposes that his readers' mission for today is to go out and share the love!

Here's beautiful ixora flower for all of you and myself included. May it brighten your day.

I shall also share one thing that was lovely today. During my double bass lesson today, I felt inspired when my tutor played several beautiful double bass solos during the class when I asked for suggestions on what repertoire I could work on to improve techniques and musicality. I felt like a sponge absorbing the beauty of the music played on the double bass. My tutor also reminded me the value of hours of good practice. Good practice sets the conditions that are necessary to create beautiful music.

So as you receive this image of the ixora, please also imagine that the image is accompanied by beautiful music. May you have a lovely day blessed with love and joy.

The beauty around us

Bright colours have a particular quality in lifting my spirits and reminding me of the positive side of life.

I came across this photo of beautiful flowers. It was taken during a visit to the Memories at Old Ford Factory. I was delighted when I saw these flowers as I was reminded that there's beauty around us.

May this image brings you a sense of beauty and hope as it did to me. Wishing everyone joy and good health.

Free Lease for a good cause

Many of us may have many ideas that come to us each and every day. Some of these ideas may seem raw and yet these ideas may be inspirations for greater and more refined ideas.

I am writing this post in the hope that maybe some of my seemingly strange ideas may be inspirations for greater ideas to come. This post is part of the ideas for a better world series.

There are a lot of shopping malls in Singapore. This idea isn't new. It is an idea of getting shopping malls to give a percentage (e.g. 5 %) of its space for free to a worthy cause. One example I can think of is The Giving Place, that Far East Organization has generously gifted to the National Volunteer & Philanthropy Centre (NVPC).

So, here are some of my raw ideas of how the free spaces could be used:

1) A practice studio for a strings quartet or double bass ensemble. The concept can be that of a sound-proof studio with see-through windows and some seats for members of the public to listen to the live rehearsal. This can served as a place for music-making and for the lay-person in the community to experience the process of music-making. The quartet or ensemble can even invite members of the public for hands-on session at stipulated time.

2) Provide free lease for enterprising people from low-income background to start a business on their own. Free lease for up to two years will be given based on a set of selection criteria and recommendations by social service agencies. This will enable people who want to help themselves start a business by giving them help with free lease. Perhaps the only sugestion is that if the business does well, the tenant who enjoyed the free lease could make donations to a fund that provides some start-up seed funding to other deserving beneficiaries.

In my work as a social worker, I have come across people from modest low-income background who have brilliant organisational skills, wonderful culinary skills, skillful hands and so forth.

3) A drop-in centre for youths managed by youth and community volunteers?

I shall stop here for now since it's time for me to turn in. Do add to the ideas please.

Read: Forgiveness and other acts of love

Stephanie Dowrick
Forgiveness and other acts of love
Penguin Books Australia Ltd, 2000

ISBN 0670873608

I was reading Stephanie Dowrick's Forgiveness and other acts of love for the past few weeks. This is a book containing wisdom on how the humane qualities of courage, fidelity, restraint, generosity, tolerance and forgiveness could help sustain and support us, be it good or difficult times.

After a good read of Stephanie Dowrick's other book,  Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials, when I came across yet another book by her, I decided I could put time aside to read it. I like her wise and encouraging style of writing.


***
Here, I attempt to share a few of the learning points that I have gained from the book:

On the value of courage, I have found this section in the book to be noteworthy: "To step more fully into courage's embrace, it may help to discover that you don't need to give up fear. Fear may be an old familiar in your life, and fear itself can be courage's best teacher. Sometimes it is only courage that allows us to acknowledge that we are afraid."

If I were to put it into context of my own life, perhaps this quote on courage is a reminder to me that it is still possible for me to be courageous even when I am feeling fear. One can act in courageous ways despite experiencing fear.

From the chapter on fidelity, the gist that I have learnt is to be true to myself. Fidelity isn't just about being faithful to a sexual partner. The concept of fidelity also encompasses being true to oneself, one's destiny, one's beliefs, values and vocation.

The chapter on restraint contained many clear examples to illustrate this very value. I suppose one thing I would like to remind myself years after this book would be the concept that restraint and very different from the concept of "constraint". Constraint restricts a person's life. Restraint, however, is according to the author, "not a habit. ...It is an expression of your choice to act - or not. Your choice to be true to what you believe is important, or not. Your choice to be loving to yourself and thoughtful about the social good, or not."

From the chapter on generosity, I was reminded that it would be ideal that the impulse to generosity arises from unconditional love. Here, unconditional love is a commitment to love for love's sake, to go on believing that there is good in humankind. I particularly like to share a section from this chapter which suggests that generosity can teach us to cultivate a sense of trust that we do now have enough and in giving where giving is needed, one will have no less. In cultivating this sense of trust, we are led to experience freedom and love that is beyond riches. Having read this chapter, I could then better appreciate the generosity that many people in my life have showered me with. My words of deep appreciation to them. Thank you.

Tolerance is perhaps one of the more profound chapters to understand. Other than discussing about tolerance to difference, it speaks about being tolerant to that dark side of ourselves. It is quite a thought-provoking chapter to read.

Finally, the book concludes with the value of forgiveness. I would find it helpful to highlight this teaching from the Dhammapada, "Hate is not conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by love. This is a law eternal."

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I may probably need more time to appreciate the wisdom that is found in Forgiveness and other acts of love. Nevertheless, it has been a good read.

Ideas for a better world

This evening, while I was commuting on the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) train, I came to my mind that it was time to start writing some of the ideas that I have had that may perhaps make the world a little better.

Some of these ideas may not seem feasible at this point in time. Some of them may even seem funny, absurd and crazy. Call them PY's ideas for a bettter world? Anyway, even if they may not seem at first relevant or feasible at this point in time, may they serve as springboards at the very least for more greater ideas to come.

There shall be no copyright in using these ideas. All that I ask is that if anyone has actually referred to or use any one of these ideas, please do give the necessary acknowledgements by citing this blog: http://oceanskies79.blogspot.com/ or "PY's ideas for a better world"

Let's see what how these ideas may take off and contribute to a better world.

21 Suggestions for Success by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I came across the 21 suggestions for success by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I have found them to be worthy to consider. Here is to share them with you.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

26 Jan 2010

I played on the double bass this evening.
It brought a moment of relief.
The heart is in need of ease,
So that it can rediscover focus
And take comfort in what music can bring.

24 Jan 2010

Thank goodness for good friends like Mystic. She provided insightful company when we went to the Singapore Art Museum yesterday.

I used to prefer to visit art galleries alone. Solitude was my preference back then. Perhaps I have evolved. I have grown to realise that it can be interesting to engage in dialogues with good friends over art pieces. Art is not just a visual form of representation of something. I suppose art can serve to be a catalyst that sparks off interesting conversations and exchanges of ideas. I didn't quite realised this subtle change in my preference for viewing artworks until yesterday when I was visiting the museum with Mystic.

After the museum visit, we had dinner at Yet Con which was known for its chicken rice and so forth. We also went for dessert in the evening.

Well, the company matters more than anything else. Many thanks to Mystic for making time to appreciate the finer beauty of art, and perhaps life itself.

22 Jan 2010

There isn't anything in particular today. It is just that I felt I should do some writing.

This evening, I borrowed Stephanie Dowrick's Creative Journal Writing. I think I am beginning to like her writings. Her writings seem to have a calming effect on me that urge me to reflect deeper on the complexities of life itself.

Somehow, reading the first few pages of the book reminded me that I could do more in terms of writing a journal. There were certain very dark periods of my life that I think journalling had helped me get in touch with some very deep emotions. Those were confusing moments filled with anguish, lots of doubts, and sadness. There were possibly glimpses of hope to find hope.

When I was doing spring cleaning about more than a year ago, I threw away two of journals in which there were very significant entries. Maybe I felt I was like the composer, Brahms, who would burn away the not-so-good works and the works that were not meant for public's eyes. I did not quite regret throwing them away. Afterall, I rarely reread those entries. It was just perhaps that only if my memory could continue to serve me well, then I would be able to access the memories of what had been written on those entries that have been thrown away. Those were the entries that bear witness to the ups-and-downs of my life, my darker sides, my failures and my triumphs.

Life is beginning to seem so complex. Yet it can be so simple if we live by certain values. What used to seem just a matter of black and white, now seems to be a gradation of greys. It's not that when we are older, that our eyes can't see well enough. It may be exactly that we are older, our evolving wisdom helps us see the finer nuances that we had not seem to see. That in the brightness of the day, there is darkness. In the times of hope, there is uncertainty underlying. In the times of confusion, there is a time to help one reflect on one's purposes.

Then here I write, with no intention to be understood. If any reader were to read this and don't understand, it is perfectly normal. Yet I hope in writing, I could lend you a glimpse of me, and how writing about journal writing got me thinking about life itself.

Untie the knots

The knots and more knots
Seems to be tying inside my tummy
Are they signs and red flags
Alerting that the world needs care and order?

Energies that need to be unblocked
Knots that need to be untied
How to start?
Where to start?
What is needed?
I ask for guidance to lead to the answers.

What to write about?

I do need an outlet for expression (and perhaps listening ears). Yet, I wonder what I could write about that would be worthwhile to share with the world. Maybe it is not for me to judge what would be worthwhile?

I have been feeling as if I am at a stage of hibernation. There seems not much growth. If this phase of my life right now is to be described using the four seasons, I would be right in the middle of winter. The leaves had shed and fallen during autumn. The animals are in hibernation. Outdoor activities are minimal. It's too cold so there is not much reason to do anything much.

On the positive side, perhaps winter provides the space to rest and to reflect. While it is over, spring will soon come again. So, I shall prepare for the spring to come.

Read: When God Winks

This is the book that I have read recently:

When God Winks: How the Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life
Squire Rushnell
Atria Books

This is quite a heart-warming and thought-provoking book to read. Squire Rushnell's writing style is accessible, and I enjoy his story-telling style of writing.

What is a God Wink?

According to the answer given by Squire Rushnell on http://www.whengodwinks.com is that a god wink "is what some people would call a coincidence, an answered prayer, or simply an experience where you'd say, 'Wow, what are the odds of that!'"

In some ways, I am still thinking about some situations that have occured in my life in the year 2008 and 2009. I wonder if these were God Winks?

Looking forward to 2010

Here is to wish everyone a meaningful year of 2010 that is blesed with good health, hope and joy.



In this post, I would especially like to thank my dearest friend, Mystic, for making time to spend New Year's Day today with me to reflect upon the year 2009 and to look forward to 2010. She has been extremely patient to lend me her ears as I articulated and tried to reflect upon how the year 2009 had been for me.

Before I have written this public post, I wrote a private post to reflect upon how the year 2009 has been for me, and to look forward to the year 2010.

The year 2009 has been a year with lots of challenges and learnings. At the same time, it provided room for growth and progress. I am thankful for the wonderful favours, support and encouragement that the people in my lives have generously given me in the year of 2009.

Looking forward to 2010, I wish I can be patient to wait when it is necessary to wait. I wish I can be more aware to see the signs that could point me to my destiny. I pray for good health for myself and my loved ones. I wish for strength to deal with the challenges that are to come. May I maintain a sense of hope that will see me through even when times should seem dark.