Patience tested

It has been a frustrating day at work. I am beginning to feel that my patience is tested for the past few days.

There is so many reports to clear of late as it is the year-end. While I would have preferred clear instructions on how to write one of those reports, it was quite the contrary. Furthermore, truly, it is not quite the job-profile of a social worker to work on accounting related issues, but well, I shall just take it part of life. Get it done and over with. Afterall, it takes me no more than two hours to do it sufficiently.

Well, perhaps that is the less abstract way to take about how my patience has been put to test. The more abstract way to describe it is that I could feel my head spinning, my privacy and space being intruded upon, and feeling not well understood. It can make my heart cry when I feel not well understood when I needed to be.

Perhaps it makes matter worse that I do not wish to express myself verbally when I feel that there was not enough space given for me to do so. My preference is to deal with the world that is internally, not externally. When a mind thinks on a different level than others, I just felt my mind was hard for others to catch up with when I have already seen what others have seen. I could only beg that time would give them the chance to catch up. Hopefully others could finally do. I have not much motivations to slow down to show others exactly what goes behind my processor, unless they could offer me the abundant space that I would need.

Certain things aren't worth me frustrated upon for too long. It is just that I am aware I am frustrated, and I needed to find a way to express that. For now, I just want space to reflect. I would have love a company to just walk silently with me. That could help me feel understood. But I could not muster the strength to ask for one, and that makes me a little sad. So meanwhile, I shall just be painfully aware of my frustrations and hurts, and then soon they will pass like all feelings, just temporarily.

I shall just ask that if you would like to write any comments, make it short and sweet please. I do not think I have much patience left to do your comments justice as a reader. I needed time to top up my patience again. A little quiet walk may help. I shall do that tomorrow, or tonight - in my dreams.