Subtle Communication?

This evening, I was communicating with one of my good friends over the MSN.

This dear friend of mine has been caring to find out how I was doing with the dance that I was to perform with the rest of my colleagues during an upcoming staff dinner. So I shared, and she patiently lent her eyes. I thank her for giving time to "listen" to my woes. I felt less frustrated when I could have my feelings and voice heard. So here is a subtle way to say thanks to this friend of mine.

She suggested perhaps I could communicate my unwillingness to dance for the item in a subtle way. For it seemed, that none of my colleagues has taken seriously enough what I had told them, when I had openly asked them if I need not dance. Nobody answered me to let me know that I need not dance for the item. I have nothing against dancing, it can be nice sometimes. However, I do not want to dance to certain tunes, under certain conditions (e.g. no shoes etc).

I have no idea how I could communicate my views in a subtle way. If I had told people upfront and direct about my views and people don't seem to have act on them, would they have acted on them if I had told them in a subtle way? How could I communicate effectively in the so-called "subtle way"?

Maybe you could lend me some of your wisdom on this concept of subtle communication, please?