Too tired, but shall post

It is Wednesday today, and the day that orchestra has rehearsal.

Took time-off in the afternoon. Was officially allowed to leave office by 2.35 p.m. but I ended up only to leave office at 3.30 p.m. because I had wanted to complete writing a recording at hand and a few other tasks. I supposed I was trying to utilise every second that time could spare me, but that has left me drained when I left office.

I was tired and slept on the MRT train on my journey to the university. I have already graduated and the university is far from my home and office, but perhaps it must have been the charm of "my boyfriend" the double-bass that has enchanted me to travel miles to get there to meet him during orchestra rehearsal. And pardon me meantime, a tired person tends to be prone to nonsense and illusions.

Had dinner in one of the canteens before I proceeded to the rehearsal venue. I had dinner as early as 4.30 p.m. Prior to rehearsal, I went for double bass sectional. Only two person attending sectional today. Pathetic, but we managed to go through Sibelius' Third Symphony. My goodness, the Third Symphony has more complicated rhythms than Sibelius' Second Symphony. I felt I was struggling to understand Sibelius. Maybe lots of people out there have also been struggling to understand me? Sibelius and myself are simply from two different worlds. He lived in cold Finland, I live in tropical Singapore. I needed more patience and effort to understand his music. Could this be similar for the people out there?

Anyway, I like sectional. There is always new learnings even though I admit today I am far from being productive and effective.

Orchestra rehearsal followed. We rehearsed Sibelius' Second Symphony. Actually the Second Symphony is so much easier to play than the Third. But again, I have yet to tune myself to be anywhere near competence in playing Sibelius' music. I was struggling to count and get the rhythms right. So I was left, a little demoralised.

But to put oneself down, would mean to downplay whatever positive aspect of one's playing. So I shall be kinder on myself as I continue to practise and appreciate Sibelius' music. Maybe with time and renewed perspective, I would be more able to see the beauty in his music?

Anyway, it was great to play with and share the same desk with QH tonight. One of my favourite desk partners. Counting became less tedious with her around. Shall grab whatever chance to play with her meantime.