Sunday, April 24, 2005

Coping with disappointments

After the breakfast, Mystic and myself went around shopping for double bass bow cases. I am not being generous if I keep singing praises of Mystic, she is just deserving of praises. She was so kind she kept me company.

I want a black colour, hard-case double bass bow case, preferably meant for keeping a French-design double bass bow. In addition, I prefer that it comes with a shoulder strap, and ideally a place to keep a rosin.

We went to several shops. One shop did not have the kind of bow case that I would like. Another shop did not have double bass bow case available at all.

Mystic said I might have been being difficult on myself by imposing so many conditions that had to be abided upon for my purchase of a double bass bow case. Her words were probably very true, but they did not help me in any way to ease my feelings of disappointments and frustrations when I could not find a satisfactory double bass bow case. I was at some point in time so disappointed and frustrated that I could almost feel my eyes going wet with tears. It was quite difficult to have to decide on a double bass bow case when choices were limited. I was confused altogether by the decision-making proces. I had to get quiet time by requesting to walk down a long lane just to simply allow myself to cool down and think of what kind of double bass bow case I would eventually get for myself.

When I finally decided on one particular shop because I called and the stocks have came in, we travelled to the shop. But I think Mystic had probably perceived that I was losing focus on my priorities when I requested that we could visit the Perankan Food & Craft Fair held at the Asian Civilisation Museum (Empress Place). I had heard about the fair, and I wanted to gratify my curiosity by visiting it today. So we did visit it and spent about fifteen minutes there.

When we finally travelled and reached the shop that sold the bow that I finally decided to get for myself after a lot of difficult deliberations, I might have been overly paranoid by fearing that the bow case may not fit my double bass bow. My bow was slightly wider at certain sections as compared to the regular bows, and for some reasons, I felt that the bow case was a little too narrow at certain parts to fit my bow. In the end, I decided not to buy the bow, but would visit the shop another day with my bow to do test-fitting. I did not bring my bow along for I did not want to carry it about for today. Mystic felt it was an unwise decision.

I think I must have tested Mystic to her limits? Actually, it was not my intention to test her. If you were to give me the benefits of the doubt, my seemingly difficult behaviours were a result of my idiosyncracies. Perhaps those behaviours were also manifestations of my disappointments and confusions.

Maybe today had not been a right day to display my disappointments in front of Mystic? I realised that today, she had her own disappointments to manage too. Yet, she still managed to stay patient with me and my idiosyncracies. Could she accept my apologies please?


Lora said...

While I can not speak for your good friend Mystic (is that mistpurple?), I believe that you are being too hard on yourself. We all have off days and our good friends seem to understand that.

No doubt you will be there for her at some point in time as she has been there for you. Good luck in your hunt for the perfect double bow case.

oceanskies79 said...

Hi Lora, thank you for your kind words. Mystic and mistipurple are two different persons.