Sunday, April 17, 2005

The Difficult Me

I had a telephone conversation with my good friend, Mystic, this evening.

Maybe it was poor timing to talk to me today, I simply found it pretty difficult to know what exactly I wanted, and I could not make up my mind on a several issues of our discussion. Mystic fedback that I was being difficult today. Maybe I had been. I am.

I shall be thankful that Mystic had been extremely patient with me when I have been difficult. I think most others would have wanted to struggle me. I have a sense that she had probably wanted to "vomit blood" while she was talking to me earlier this evening. Maybe she did want to struggle me? I think one day I will be infamous for being someone that most people want to struggle? Then again, I guess if anyone were to withstand my being difficult and still remain patient and sincere, I will be touched. And of no surprise, I was with Mystic.

Maybe it is hard not to be difficult at times when I live in a conflicting world. In a world where I do not exactly know what I want, but still have some vague idea what I do not want. That is the struggle that I am facing, and please forgive me if I had projected my struggles onto you by appearing difficult.

2 comments:

mistipurple said...

you are very "aware" of yourself. this is good i feel. there are others who don't know even when they are difficult, and the awful part is that they feel it is alright to be difficult.
anyway ocean, it is normal how you are feeling. perhaps musicians and artists are more sensitive than others and question more. occupational hazard.

Goat Almighty said...

wahahahaha!

hehe, i'm sorry if i annoy you too much on your blogs pei yun and purple... but i'm not gonna stop :P

anyway purple's right. artistic people connect more to their soul. i can see that from the photos that you take, the things that i read you do... .

for me, i take it as a good thing. people with no emotions have no feeling towards others. these are the people that makes the world a lousier place to live in.