Friday, July 29, 2005

Before I hit rock bottoms

JY seems to have helped me find an expression for what I am feeling now: inexplicable blues.

I was trying hard to clear as much work as possible. I hope I could do more, but there was only some much I could do within my means. At least I have tied up most of the loose ends and have completed whatever that I have to do before I go on annual leave. I should have been kind enough to give myself a pat on the shoulder to reward myself for the hard work, but I felt not in the moods to celebrate even this simple achievement.

Humility seems to be asking of me to bear in mind that I could not do everything that needs to be done within too short a time-frame. I wish I were an immortal at times. Then again, maybe there could be no satisfaction in being an immortal. How do we truly appreciate and find joy in the fruits of our labour if we have not gone through trials and obstacles to gain them?

***
It felt rather sad that I had stayed back in office to clear work beyond 9 p.m. tonight. I had wanted to attend to something else in the late evening, but I ended up choosing to clear work in the office. I guess I simply did not wish to go back to office tomorrow to continue to clear the work. The office felt very quiet. This was a good thing for someone like myself who needs some peace. Though it felt a little melancholic to be all on one's own.

Thank goodness that I had the batteries from Mistipurple to steer me on.

Anyway, I am officially on annual leave starting on coming Monday and I do not need to be back in office until 22 Aug 2005.

***
The blues caught up on me, and I don't know why.

***
Mystic called me on my mobile phone in the late evening. She reminded me to relax, but I have no idea if I could. I simply was not in the moods to act on any suggestion.

***
Seems like I am heading towards hitting rock bottoms. I know very well that before I hit there, I have to learn to pick myself up again. Maybe I should ask a fork-lift driver to drive in with a fork-lift to just help me do that?

Not at my best to reason effectively. I would think.

2 comments:

mistipurple said...

hmm.. a toughie, but i'll try..

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dear oceanskies, i'm sorry i think it is turning out to be a battle tank instead! can you make do with it instead of a forklift with a driver?

mistipurple said...

eh.. the computer sorts itself out and it looks even more different now! :p