I do not know how I could make life meaningful for myself to be in but to celebrate the little successes as I move along. So, I decided I shall. Not that I could feel the significance as yet, but I shall believe that all shall add up to a greater good.
***
When noon struck, I left office since the workday has officially ended. I had Singapore laksa for my lunch at a coffeeshop nearby my workplace.
Headed for Esplanade - Theatres by the Bay after lunch. I went up the roof-top of a bright afternoon in hope to take photographs. Not good enough, I fear. I sense a breakthrough might be needed? Maybe I have been critical of myself, for I have never been easy to please.
Up the roof-top.
When dark corners meet the brightness of the sun, who shall triumph?
***
I looked from the roof-top and saw more yatches than usual. I wonder what occassion it was today that had invited the yatches?
After checking out the roof-top, my next stop was the library at Esplanade. I went to look for musical albums to loan. I found this recording of Jean Sibelius' Symphony No. 2 in D Major, Op. 43 conducted by Sakari Oramo and performed by the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra. It took me a while to figure out how to use the CD player at the library. With the help of one of the staff members, I had that figured out.
I listened to the entire of the symphony. The Symphony was finally starting to make a little more sense to me. I quite like this rendition of Sibelius' Symphony No. 2. As such, I spent slightly more than half-an-hour to listen to the symphony in the library. Here, I give credits to the National Library Board for developing a good library system in Singapore. Thanks.
After listening to the symphony on the CD player, I loaned the album with that recording plus two other CDs.
Then I walked about the Esplanade Mall, spontaneously without much planning, and passed by a retail-space that is undergoing works. I heard this shop will specialise in strings instruments and accessories. Maybe there will be hope for double bassists in Singapore to find greater variety of good double basses and double bass accessories from this shop when it opens?
***
Then I realised, while I had no clear goal, I was in fact travelling around in hope to find answers to the many questions on my mind. Maybe the world around me might be able to give me clues to those questions? I have no idea where I would stand in the world out there. Is there really a need for my existence in this world? Who determines it? Maybe it might not be possible to find the answers, but may the process of the search be fruitful.
***
What follows is not a discovery from a search for I knew that there is a Häagen-Dazs ice-cream restaurant at the Esplanade Mall. I treated myself to a scoop of the Flavour of the Month. This month's flavour is chocolate. I know I should not be eating too much cold food. These tend to make me develop worse cough. Anyway, I shall succumb to temptations for today, then be more disciplined thereafter. The ice-cream was nice. I sat by the waterfront of the Esplanade and enjoyed the ice-cream under the scorching sun. Meantime, I tried to delight myself with how my pair of transition lenses had changed its colours when they were in contact with sunlight. Maybe life can be fascinating at times? One may just have to take time to look deeper?
Next stop was the Singapore River. I admired its beauty while taking time to savour the peace and tranquility that the river has to offer. Yet, when things felt as if they have came to a still, the unsettling feeling within becomes more noticeable. The blessing is perhaps that the unsettling feeling did not left me in a state of panic nor depression. I could still walk and move on. Anyway, the following photographs are dedicated to JY.
***
After much walking, I came to a bus-stop and decided to take a bus to the Changi Airport. That would be at least a 30-minutes ride on the bus. I waited for at least fifteen minutes for the bus. Maybe in life, one needs patience, to wait?
The bus journey allowed my tired feet to take some rest. The journey was relatively smooth except that there were quite a lot of people on the bus. I must have been lucky to find a seat. Maybe everyone would get a fair share of luck too? One just have to see it and appreciate it?
***
I walked about the Changi Airport, Singapore's International Airport. It is quite a distance from my home, so if you were to find me there, it means that I have travelled specially to have my walks taken there. Take it that I was having my excursion. Out on my own, to explore spaces that have usually been a little out of my reach.
I had dinner at Popeyes, the fast-food outlet that I had wrote about sometime this April. I like the texture of the buttermilk biscuit but was very disappointed that there was no longer syrup available to go with the Popeyes' biscuit. Maybe one way not to spoil one's moods is to accept that there might be disappointments along the way? Seeing the brighter side may help lighten the mood? For example, I shall be thankful that I still get to eat the buttermilk biscuit today.
***
The control tower, Changi Airport.
***
After spending some time walking about the airport, I took a bus that took me to town. Along the way, I tried to find beauty in the evening skies that accompanied me along the drive to town. Halfway, I took a short nap. I must have been a little tired.
***
I think I would still need more travelling about. Life out there seems so complex beyond me, such that more work is needed just to accept life as it is. But I know just simply making myself fit into the life out there may one day take life away from me. Lifeless, I would be, simply to live each day as it comes, without finding the meaning within.
Forgive my ramblings. I am simply lost, despite my relatively good navigational skills.
2 comments:
something irrelevant to share here. someone once told me, that understanding certain things in life or god, is something like digging a hole on the beach and pouring buckets and buckets of sea water into it, and no matter how much water you pour into this hole, it will never fill up. (i know there are slight loop holes to this theory, but when he said it then, i kind of understood what he was trying to explain to me.)
i believe he meant that god and a whole lot of questions about life can never be adequately answered and the human mind is not equipped to handle the vastness of the implications. so he told me then, that understanding god and life is something like that, and that it is close to impossible to grasp its meanings. so there is something called 'faith' that takes care of things. i do not wish to advocate religion here, to not offend others. so 'faith' can also apply to life. have faith that things will turn out right. have faith that you are here for a reason. you may not know the reason and the reason is not important, but that you are not here for no reason.
do go about life everyday happily. if you cannot find adequate meaning in your life, be assured that your being has brought meaning to other's life. (your job is proof of that everyday)
remember the 5 wheels of life that i mentioned. they have to be in sync. i wish you success in finding that equilibrium. again, search not too hard. it's akin to filling up that hole on the beach with water. happiness is a choice you make everyday. since you are blessed with good health, that is a whole lot to be happy about.
i apologise for being long-winded. i would rather incur your wrath and put myself in a silly light, but it would be worth it, if it can make your journey less arduous.
Hi Misti: Thanks for taking precious time to come by and lend some kind words.
Simple American: Changi airport is built on reclaimed lands.
There is a Changi museum in singapore on the history of the Japanese Occupation and the Prisoners-of-War held captive by the Japanese during the Japanese Occupation, but it is quite a distance from the airport.
We only have one Popeyes outlet in Singapore, as best as I know.
Caracola: Thanks.
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